One of my favorite moments from The Simpsons...

*Homer is away on a business trip in Capital City, and is about to order room service. Back at Mr. Burns' office at the Power Plant, a flashing alarm light starts to go off. Smithers notices this*.

Smithers - Sir, it seems someone is about to order room service using the company's money.

Burns - Oh, they are, are they? We'll just see about that! Smithers, release the flying monkeys!

*Smithers walks over to a cage in the corner of the office holding various monkeys with wings strapped to their backs. He opens the door to the cage, and the monkeys walk out of it, and start heading toward an open window next to Burns*.

Burns (to the monkeys) - Yes, fly my pretties! Fly! *laughs evilly*

*One by one, the monkeys go to the window, and immediately fall to their deaths, screaming. After they have all fallen to the ground below, Smithers and Burns just look out the window for a few seconds, saying nothing. Burns then turns to Smithers, and says...*

Burns - Continue the research...

*he walks off*

Another great Simpsons line:

(At a gun owners' meeting)
Moe: Hi. I'm Moe S.
Everybody: Hi, Moe!
Moe: So, I was closing up the bar the other day when some punk tried to stick me up.
*audience gasp*
Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?
Moe: Well, it could've been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine.
*applause*
Moe: Yeah, so the next place he robs better have a ramp.

I preferred when Moe relied on funk dancing for self defense.
"So say some gangsta is dissing your fly girl...you just give 'im one of these! Hoo! Hiyah!"

My favorite Moe-ism is in reply to one of Bart's crank calls:
"I'm gonna tear out your eyes and stuff 'em down your pants so you can WATCH me kick the crap outta ya! And then I'm gonna paint my boat with ya tongue!"

I'm a big fan of his anti-immigrant sign: "Get Eurass Back to Eurasia".

Since we are on the Simpsons, one a use a lot is...

When bart and Milhouse go to the future, and they visit a blind guy. He explains his condition.

"So who knew 20 years from now, Lasik would make your eyes fall out?"

Swordsman

(Yuen Wah is getting stung to death by a swam of bees)

"You black magic witch! Recall the bees!"

I just saw Bloody Pit of Horror and realized what I was hearing.

"Just as I thought. The rope has been cut. A clear case of deliberate murder."

Thor from the Avengers Animated TV show:

"We shall see, villain."

"I'll teach you a kung fu punch, using your fists."

- 5 Pattern Dragon Claws

"Your iron ball is fantastic."

- 4 Shaolin Challengers

"Live every week like it's Shark Week" - Tracy Jordan.

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Kenneth Parcell: "What's a backdoor brag?"

Jenna Maroney: "It's sneaking something wonderful about yourself into everyday conversation. Like when I tell people it's hard for me to watch "American Idol" because I have perfect pitch. Now you try."

Kenneth Parcell: "Oh... ew... It's hard for me to watch "American Idol" because there's a water bug on my channel changer. "

"STOP... SAWING... THE TABLE!!!!"

--Ida Osler lays down the law on one of her husband's bad habits in The Big Snit.

And also...


High-Ranking Flunky: People like an underdog.

Authoritarian Dictator: I don't. Have you been there? To Districts 10, 11, and 12? I have. A lot of underdogs there. I think that if you met them, you wouldn't like them either.


--Donald Sutherland gets the single best line in the whole script to The Hunger Games.

Favorite one-liner from a film I saw some of at the Smithees, called Narcosys: "If Jesus would stop hanging up on the cross, maybe the call would finally go through!"

Yes.