Last night was the 21st annual gala, featuring the usual cheese puffs, baby-back-ribs-flavored potato chips, bacon soda and crap, crap craptacular cinema.

This was a banner year for the event because:

* I got a parking space right inside the entrace of the parking tower.

* I won one of the prizes they give out for the first time ever. It was a hand puppet in the form of a Big Damn Spider eating the Space Shuttle. Yeah, baby!

* I got to see Mickey Rooney in drag. Don't ask, just rush out and find a movie called The Manipulator.

* I laughed so gard that by the end of the evening I literally suspected a very small internal rupture. It was better by morning, though.

* I knew to go to Amazon today and find myself a copy of Mega Piranha. I will treasure it forever, even if it arrives broken.

* Two words: City Dragon. Again, don't ask -- you just need to see it.

* One word: Birdemic.

* Three words about the one word above: OH. DEAR. GOD.