This movie is looking fairly explodey.

Full length trailer for Battleship.

From Hasbro we get what that looks like a mash-up between Transformers and Battle Los Angeles.

So, something I'll never watch, then.

Good god, I couldn't even finish that trailer. I just started imagining how much money it took them to make this movie based on friggin' Battleship and immediately started doing that "laughter transitioning into tormented screaming" that Ash did when the whole room came alive in Evil Dead 2.

Good Lord, what the heck was that?

Well, I'm not seeing that! That just looks generic, dull, and is it really a good idea to boast "from Hasbro?"

If you are trying to unload your backlog of Battlership games just in time for Christmas, YES.

Every time I thought that trailer couldn't get more ridiculous (and less related to, y'know, BATTLESHIP), it found away. The alien ships are shooting killer yo-yos at everybody. Yo-yos!

Am I the only one who can't watch the Battleship trailer without thinking of that Simpsons episode where they had a commercial for Tic-Tac-Toe: The Movie, which imagined the game as a thrilling space saga with X and O-shaped ships, and a Romeo and Juliet-style romance in the center of it all?

I never saw that episode of "The Simpsons," but if I had, I'm sure it would have been the first or second thing to cross my mind.

New Poster:

Looking at the new poster for The Dark Night Rises it makes me think he never did get around to fixing the brittle problem with the cowl that was manufactured back in Batman Begins.

The Stooges are holy saints and hidden subgenii, but I found this version of Moe about as convincing as JJ Abrams' version of James T Kirk.

You know, if this had just been a movie about aliens fighting a Battleship, I could have ignored the game connection and maybe enjoyed it on its own terms (though the tiresome Generic Aliens Who Travel Millions of Light Years to Blow Us Up For What Is Sure To Be A Poorly-Thought-Out Reason don't instill me with hope in that regard).

But dear God, they appear to be trying to obey the rules of the game! The alien weapons look like pegs! I'm certain it's going to come down to five ships, and someone will shout "You sank my battleship!"

What...what is wrong with Hollywood? I mean, things seem much wronger than normal lately. It's not just me, right?

Well, they gave us My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...

But other than that, I don't think that's something to brag about.

Though I'd really be interested in seeing Michael Bay's My Little Pony movie.

First trailer for GI Joe 2.

Looks like they tried to "gritty" it up after the fairly (fairly?) cartoon-y first movie (Uh...it looks like they kill off most of the cast from the first movie...huh) but the "Snake Eyes vs. Ninjas on a mountainside" bit looks pretty neat.