Hindsight is always 20/20

In this case, playing Half Life 2 trains you to be prepared for any 'defend a room' situation.

My theory is that Bill Murray was out there dressed as a zombie and caught a Molotov cocktail in the face by accident. Because it suits his lifestyle.

So, for some reason I watched Conan 2011 a.k.a. I Can't Believe It's Not The Scorpion King a.k.a. What People Who Aren't Familiar With Conan Think A Conan Movie Should Be Topped Of With A Bunch Of Michael Bay-isms, again and well, I have some questions....hell, about almost every damn scene but...let me just hit the highlights.

If the Cimmerians are as bloodthirsty and war-like as their philosophy says, why are they appalled that Conan killed the Picts who attacked him? Shouldn't they be throwing a kegger over the fact that one of their kids managed, with out any formal combat training, to take down four adult opponents all by his lonesome? Also, if he killed four of 'em, why'd he only bring back three heads?

Also, we see a pict leading the bad guy's army to Conan's village. Why are the Cimmerians not bothered by the fact that their kids just got attacked by what was apparently an enemy scounting party?

How the hell does a warlord in some prehistoric age know what a church is? Wouldn't refering to the forge as the Cimmerian's "temple" made more sense?

Why the hell does Conan's father decide to sacrifice himself by dumping the molten metal on him, instead of just, I don't know, find a way to dump it out without it falling on either of them?

If Conan thinks "No man should live in chains," why does he refer to Whats Her Face as "his property" and tie her up for no reason later on?

If the bad guy can find all the different pieces of the evil MacGuffin mask that have been spread across the world in a couple of years, why does it take him over a decade to find one person in an easy to access monostary that seems to be almost right up the road from his castle?

Why is the bad guy's prison full of extras from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

What the hell is up with that oversized, segmented shoulder armor that damn near hangs down to the wearer's ass we see various goons wearing?

Why are the bad guy's dragging a Man of War all over the place but then never send it after Conan when he escapes via a pirate ship?

Considering he's going up against some warlord with an army of thousands at his command, why doesn't Conan bring along his pirate crew to help fight them, especially since we see they're pretty capable of fighting off an attacking force? Why does he "have to do this alone?" (Note that "This movie's Conan is a moron" is an acceptable answer.)

Speaking of said army of thousands, what in the blazing blue hell happens to it halfway through the movie? After the scene where this movie suddenly turns into a Wile E. Coyote cartoon and Conan catapaults Not-Orc guy at the villain's camp, (God almighty, why didn't they go all the way and foley in the Goofy scream.) we never see it again.

What the hell is the deal with those sand monsters? What use is a monster that's so fragile it falls apart if you wave a damn Q-tip in their general direction?

Why is a Greco-Roman monastery guarded by a bunch of Asian dudes with naginatas?

Where the hell is the love scene between Conan and Whats Her Face taking place? Did they just break into some dude's barn so they could have a roll in the hay?

Seriously, WHERE DOES THE BAD GUY'S ARMY GO? WHY ARE THERE NO GUARDS IN HIS CASTLE?

Why does Conan's ditch his armor in the last act, especially since he's going to fight a guy who kicked his butt the last time he went mano-a-mano with him?

How the hell does the bad guy manage to not cut his damn fingers or face off with that spinning, scissor scimitarwhatsis whatever the hell that sword he was using was?

Why did somebody think "hey, let's give the villain the same hairdo Travolta was sporting in Battlefield Earth" was a good idea?

Why does the villain's hideout start collapsing? Did the magic power of the MacGuffin mask do it? Why? Read in a script review somewhere that the mask gets damaged in the fight and that's what causes it but here it's pretty clear that's not what happens. The bad guy's hideout just starts falling apart for no reason. What the hell happened?

Seriously, who the hell thought the villain's big line should be "I don't like you anymore?"

And, the question that I think sums up the movie, why is the evil MacGuffin mask refered to as a mask when it isn't a mask? It doesn't cover the face or obscure the wearer's features at all. Why not call it, I dunno, the Helm of Acheron or the Crown of Acheron, which fits something that's worn on the top of his head a whole lot better?

Oh, Neo...you poor suffering thinker you.
That whole post makes me wanna share this.

http://www.sfwa.org/2005/01/on-thud-and-blunder/

Makes me want to hunt down some Hollywood suits and brand this on their foreheads with a laser.
Mind you, backwards, so they can read it in a mirror...

To be fair, he does say "no man"

The Shining:

1. Why is Wendy only able to see ghosts and whatnot at the end, when Jack has already gone insane?

2. Why is Halloran so adamant about Danny not going into Room 237 when the kid is already seeing ghosts and elevators full of blood and whatnot?

3. Is there any explanation given about the fellow in the bear costume that Wendy sees at the end?

1) Because at the end "Sh*t just got real" and the ghosts were no longer playing the slow game.

2) The ghost in Room 237 is one Halloran new to be dangerous.

3) The bear costume was just a look at the decadence of years gone by at the Overlook.

Also, I think (1) the Overlook is feeding on the psychic sensitivity of Danny and to a lesser extent Jack, and by the end has accumulated so much power from doing so that even a non-sensitive (or barely-sensitive) like Wendy is able to detect its manifestations. (3) is ambiguous even in the long cut, but Movie Mike is correct-- like everything else apart from Delbert Grady (who appears to be a ghost in the full sense of the term), it's either a replay of something emotionally powerful that once occurred at the hotel or a nightmare-like allegorical representation of same. The book builds a whole set-piece around that manifestation, but Kubrick ditched everything beyond the bare fact of Wendy seeing it (wisely, I think, but also somewhat confusingly from the viewer's standpoint).

That wasn't a bear, it was a dog costume. Remember the ballroom scene in the book, when dull Jacky-Boy went back in time and the slinky woman he was dancing with explained about the high roller who taunted his homosexual lover that he MIGHT take him back if he dressed up as a cute little doggy? Which is why the furry, I mean the guy in the dog costume, had his head in the lap of a man in a tux when Wendy spotted him in one of the roooms.

Okay, so on Angel it's explicitly established that vampires' hearts don't beat. So how, then, do injected tranquilizers have any effect on them? There's nothing to move the drugs through their system!

Also, its established that they don't breathe (Angel being unable to give Buffy CPR at the end of season one), and yet we see them smoking - how's that work?

Vampires can fake breathing well enough that you can't point one out by the lack of a rising and falling chest, but they can't force it out of their lungs with enough force to inflate someone else's lungs.

(Also, Season One's kind of weird when it comes to lore.)

It does make you wonder about the whole "blood sucking" thing...or really what happens to that blood when it enters their system...

Joss Whedon completely sucks at writing anything even vaguely science-related. He very obviously just does not understand physics, chemistry, biology, or any branch of environmental science at all, so any attempt to deduce the principles of vampire physiology from script details in "Buffy" and "Angel" will yield nothing but a splitting headache.