Not I, because though I love Oswalt I would permanently curse him for what could have been: Goyer dead, and Snipes behind bars for murder! Two birds with one stone!

Um, not that I endorse killing anyone, even dudes that when given the chance will certainly screw up beloved superhero adaptations for many years to come.

I've read accounts saying he did it, and others that said that it was another beau of hers, Christopher Williams.

I was rather taken with her, myself--mostly after I saw her name and realized she was the one responsible for the surprisingly guitar-heavy pop song I had been hearing for weeks prior to seeing the movie.

This year's Oscar-nominated short films!

Kavi An Indian kid and his parents work as slave labor for a man who claims that the father owes him money. The boy watches schoolchildren walk by as he works. He would like to go to school someday, but things are pretty hopeless. The ending is hopeful but ambiguous. (Ends with text explaining that this kind of slavery is going on right now. No disrespect, but did I just watch a PSA?) Exactly the type of heart-tugging that the Academy loves, and most likely to win.

The New Tenants Pretentious Tarantinoesque comedy. (I think. I haven't seen much Tarantino.) A gay couple has just moved into an apartment, not knowing that the previous resident had been murdered there. They receive a couple of harrowing visits from others looking for the previous tenant. Entertaining in parts, but then the writer can't think of an ending. This was more of a demo reel than a story.

Miracle Fish I don't want to spoil it, so let's just say a kid has an unusual day at school. And learns how messed up life can be. The story meanders dreamily until the dark ending. A nice little shocker.

The Door A family deals with the aftermath of the Chernobyl disaster. Simple, personal, and sad.

Instead of Abracadabra A Swedish comedy in the Wes Anderson style. A 20-something guy still lives with his parents. He's an aspiring magician, but his father wants him to get a real job. This was just plain fun. How the heck did it get nominated?

The Princess And The Frog: You know what? Pretty damned good. Not to par with Aladdin or Mermaid but pretty damned good. Lush animation which called to mind the bayous and the deltas, lively storytelling, lots of jazz music. Oh, and VOODOO! Keith David as a voodoo practitioner! His number was just plain awesome. Great villain. A bit cliched but a helluva lot of fun. Dug it.

This year's Oscar-nominated and "recognized" animated short films, barring Wallace and Gromit!:

A Bunch of Pixar-wannabe Europeans: Unsuprisingly, they come off as decidedly sub-par Pixar. Which isn't bad, but makes you wish you could be watching...

Partly Cloudy: Pixar's short from before Up. Proposes a highly unorthodox cosmology; also is adorable. Not actually nominated, though, because hasn't the Academy deigned to throw Pixar enough of a bone this year?

Runaway: The Film Board of Canada offering, about a runaway train. Refreshingly 2-D, and very, very much an NFB cartoon, with all the bizarre takes, social commentary, and body horror that that entails. "Recognized", not actually a nominee, because 2-D animation is teh suck.

The Kinematograph: Hilariously overwrought stuffy Polish CGI piece about some old dude inventing the movie camera whose wood-like wife is secretly dying of tuberculosis. Filled with the most ludicrously obvious thanatological symbolism imaginable, and some of the very worst voice acting you'll ever hear. "Recognized"...for what?

Logorama: Man, corporate branding, right? Here in America, it's our whole world! Pretty much a Tarantino movie as performed by company logos--the depth of world-creation on display is extremely impressive, I just wish that if they had to have a plot, it would've been better than this. Still, Big Boy and the Haribo Kid play Beavis and Butthead.

Paranormal Activity - A nice little slow burn haunting story that knows how to make a little go a long way. Didn't realize just how much it had gotten under my skin until after everyone else had gone to sleep and I suddenly realized I was sitting in a quiet, dark house with my back turned to an open door. The second I heard something creak, I had to shut it.

Ong Bak 2 -- Basically an exceptional trailer for Ong Bak 3. Tony Jaa went famously insane during the making of this movie, leaving it unfinished, so it ends pretty much right in the middle of the finale with "Well, he's doomed I guess, but maybe if we all wish really hard, he will return to life" narration. Before that happens, though, there is almost nothing but fighting. I know people say that about lots of movies, but with this one, it's really true. there's only a few minutes of plot, then it's nonstop fighting. That's great for a while, but it gets exhausting, then a tad boring. I admire Tony Jaa's ability to teleport to any location and infiltrate any group without any effort whatsoever.

Public Enemies -- A perfectly enjoyable movie ruined by endless gratuitous shaky cam. He's just washing his face, man (or Mann)! We don't need violently shaking camera work for that. Whole thing gave me a headache, and knocked the movie from four stars down to 2.5 for me.

Closing Ceremonies, 2010 Winter Olympics -- What...the...hell? Giant cardboard hockey guys, Tapdancing mounties. Show tune lumberjacks. Floating moose. Giant beavers. Soaring sexy chicks dressed as maple leafs. William Shatner talking about making love in a canoe. Glowing Russians inside bouncy balls. Absolute chaos. Madness. A seeming lack of any coordination of movement, as if they were actively trying to be the opposite of Beijing's frighteningly tight and coordinated opening ceremonies. A parade of every goofball cliche and stereotype about Canada, short of girls riding atop giant cans of Labatt Blue. Oh Canada...

A common mistake. He was actually talking about American beer.

That's not what the cartoon floating above his head communicated

Army of Shadows: Excellent. A beautiful, unsensational movie about the French Resistance.

Bodyguards and Assassins - Big-budget historical drama from Teddy Chan (Downtown Torpedoes and The Accidental Spy) about an assassination attempt on Dr. Sun Yat-Sen and the rag-tag group of individuals (including NBA player Mengke Bateer) who gave their lives to protect him from Qing assassins. There are a lot of characters, but thankfully spends about 70 minutes actually developing them somewhat before it puts them in danger. The action, directed by Stephen Tung Wei, is decent, although I expected a lot better. Even Donnie Yen doesn't deliver as much as I was hoping he would (strange, considering he asked to reshoot his fights because he didn't like Tung's choreography style). Entertaining film, nonetheless.

What really struck me was how ruthless they were to each other, and understandably so. Moving but unsentimental portrait of an era.

You sound a little stuffy, skip. Getting a cold?

I had a case of typoitis, but I'm better now... much more agreeable than typoid fever!