The Mortis Manifesto - Stop Entertainment Cannibalism
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ProfessorMortis
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 11:50 pm
Posts: 6081
Location: Somerville, MA
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1) No new stories with old comic book characters in comics. New characters can be created but can not reference, rip-off, or use old ones or their history or setting. Movies can be made using old story lines, reasonably faithfully adhered to.
2) No new entries in the following franchises:
A) Star Wars
B) Star Trek
C) Rocky
D) Rambo
E) James Bond
F) Halloween
G) A Nightmare on Elm St.
H) Friday the 13th
I) Chucky
J) Leprechaun-in-Da-Hood
K) Hellraiser
L) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
M) Psycho
N) Indiana Jones
3) No remakes except for movies that bombed on original release, were critically poorly received and have never gained a cult following. (This includes "Reimaginings")
4) No more zombies
You will follow these rules for 20 years at which point they'll be further reviewed.
Additional pending rules:
5) No more overdressed society vampires
6) No DTV after-the-fact cash-in sequels
Edited By ProfessorMortis on 1241640561
_________________
"Professor of Evil! and Libraries! and EVIL LIBRARIES!"- Telstar
"You know somewhere a Hollywood exec is going, "I've got a great idea for a remake, we'll take Night of the Living Dead only instead of the the living dead it'll be zombies! Zombies are so it right now!"" - Juniper.
"Conclusion: Mort should be dead right now. Or Mort is the living dead. Or the inspiration for the Bruce Willis character in Unbreakable."-BJ
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| Wed May 06, 2009 11:58 am |
 
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Mr. Paradox
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2002 3:12 pm
Posts: 3078
Location: Minnesota
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Because who cares about Superman, Batman, and all the other riffraff these days?
History? Who needs it?
_________________
"Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised." - Brian Warner
"Marlowe's overreacting, Marlowe's taking it wrong, Marlowe's lighting kittens on fire again..." - Marlowe, on how the rest of the board sees him
"What we have here is one hellaciously well-built monument." - Bergerjacques, on the Lincoln Memorial
"Folks, we need a way to get Uwe Boll to inadvertantly touch Tony Jaa's elephant." - Beggar So's Hat speaks truth
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:05 pm |
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ProfessorMortis
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 11:50 pm
Posts: 6081
Location: Somerville, MA
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Come on. Mainstream comics are so insanely convoluted at this point thanks to endless boots, reboots, cross-overs and "events" that they are unreadable to all but an ever shrinking number of dedicated fans. Take 20 years off, save all the old stuff, and come back fresh.
Edited By ProfessorMortis on 1241633265
_________________
"Professor of Evil! and Libraries! and EVIL LIBRARIES!"- Telstar
"You know somewhere a Hollywood exec is going, "I've got a great idea for a remake, we'll take Night of the Living Dead only instead of the the living dead it'll be zombies! Zombies are so it right now!"" - Juniper.
"Conclusion: Mort should be dead right now. Or Mort is the living dead. Or the inspiration for the Bruce Willis character in Unbreakable."-BJ
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:07 pm |
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The Mud Puppy
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:27 am
Posts: 4311
Location: Palatine, IL
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I'd agree with most of this, except I don't see any reason there can't be new entires in Star Trek. Just, damn it, why do we keep having to "go back to where it all began"?
I don't give a f*ck where it all began, I want to see where it's going. By my count we're due for a foray into the 25th Century. With a Gorn as a captain. Or hell, how about a Horta captain?
The potential for repetition is still there, but all these prequels are running under the false assumption that there's no chance of anything new so they might as well go back over what we've already seen. And that isn't what Star Trek is about.
_________________
"The pit is still being installed. And the alligators are union, so they're only on site ten hours a day. Please time your impertinence accordingly."
--Telstar describes his instrument of minion disposal
My LiveJournal--personal crap, rants, bitterness, and liberal propaganda!
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:09 pm |
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Hman
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:01 pm
Posts: 3901
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
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What about those films that purposely try to reenact cheesy 1950s monster movies or 1980s slasher films without being an actual remake?
_________________
"I will teach you a kung fu punch, using your fists."
- 5 Pattern Dragon Claws
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:16 pm |
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The Mud Puppy
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:27 am
Posts: 4311
Location: Palatine, IL
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If they work like Tremors and Slither did, they may stay.
If we get more Eight-Legged Freaks, then it needs to cease.
Edited By The Mud Puppy on 1241633998
_________________
"The pit is still being installed. And the alligators are union, so they're only on site ten hours a day. Please time your impertinence accordingly."
--Telstar describes his instrument of minion disposal
My LiveJournal--personal crap, rants, bitterness, and liberal propaganda!
My DVD Collection
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:19 pm |
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ProfessorMortis
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 11:50 pm
Posts: 6081
Location: Somerville, MA
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 | | | | The Mud Puppy wrote: If they work like Tremors and Slither did, they may stay. If we get more Eight-Legged Freaks, then it needs to cease. | | | | |
Hey, no injecting quality into this, or else someone will have an example for each objection I have!
Honestly, I am okay with aping old genres. I'm just against continuing long played out franchises and remaking good movies.
Mudpuppy, I sort of see your point with Star Trek but that's not what we're getting. And if we did get it it would look like Voyager. So no pass.
Edited By ProfessorMortis on 1241634111
_________________
"Professor of Evil! and Libraries! and EVIL LIBRARIES!"- Telstar
"You know somewhere a Hollywood exec is going, "I've got a great idea for a remake, we'll take Night of the Living Dead only instead of the the living dead it'll be zombies! Zombies are so it right now!"" - Juniper.
"Conclusion: Mort should be dead right now. Or Mort is the living dead. Or the inspiration for the Bruce Willis character in Unbreakable."-BJ
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:21 pm |
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The Mud Puppy
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:27 am
Posts: 4311
Location: Palatine, IL
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_________________
"The pit is still being installed. And the alligators are union, so they're only on site ten hours a day. Please time your impertinence accordingly."
--Telstar describes his instrument of minion disposal
My LiveJournal--personal crap, rants, bitterness, and liberal propaganda!
My DVD Collection
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:22 pm |
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Osco Sean
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 8:30 pm
Posts: 4398
Location: SE Michigan, USA
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I'm afraid that I can't live with rule 4. I could live with a variant to the effect of "Your zombie movie is unoriginal, and your children are ugly," but to do away with them entirely? Nuh-uh. Not if overdressed society vampires get to stay. :p
_________________
"Whichever way you look at it, flaming-head guy vs. magnesium is pretty much bound to get ugly." - El Santo
Forgotten Exploitation Films from the Archives - Big Monster Ruckus
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Connect the threads in B-Movies at Web of the Big Damn Spider
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:24 pm |
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ProfessorMortis
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 11:50 pm
Posts: 6081
Location: Somerville, MA
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We will fight in the streets!
Seriously, though, I'd be okay with script approval. Unoriginal and over exposed is the real problem here.
Also, Overdressed Society Vampire movies? Has that been a problem much in this decade in film?
_________________
"Professor of Evil! and Libraries! and EVIL LIBRARIES!"- Telstar
"You know somewhere a Hollywood exec is going, "I've got a great idea for a remake, we'll take Night of the Living Dead only instead of the the living dead it'll be zombies! Zombies are so it right now!"" - Juniper.
"Conclusion: Mort should be dead right now. Or Mort is the living dead. Or the inspiration for the Bruce Willis character in Unbreakable."-BJ
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:27 pm |
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The Mud Puppy
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:27 am
Posts: 4311
Location: Palatine, IL
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Now, now, the prime directive states that we must allow their extinction to run its course. They should all die out after the last Twilight movie is released and their niche shall be filled by a more deserving species.
_________________
"The pit is still being installed. And the alligators are union, so they're only on site ten hours a day. Please time your impertinence accordingly."
--Telstar describes his instrument of minion disposal
My LiveJournal--personal crap, rants, bitterness, and liberal propaganda!
My DVD Collection
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| Wed May 06, 2009 12:27 pm |
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Osco Sean
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2004 8:30 pm
Posts: 4398
Location: SE Michigan, USA
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That's really been the most prominent recent flare-up of the OSV, but it remains nearly as prevalent as clowns and zombies in straight to DVD dreck.
_________________
"Whichever way you look at it, flaming-head guy vs. magnesium is pretty much bound to get ugly." - El Santo
Forgotten Exploitation Films from the Archives - Big Monster Ruckus
Franz's World - New Year Resolutions
Connect the threads in B-Movies at Web of the Big Damn Spider
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| Wed May 06, 2009 1:02 pm |
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Brother Ragnarok
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:24 pm
Posts: 4372
Location: North central Iowa
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It would seem that by these rules I can still keep Dr. Who, and Conan if you stretch it. I'm going to miss Hellboy, though.
I absolutely hate Superman, and don't-give-a-damn-growing-into-dislike Batman, and Dr. Strange hasn't had his own book for ages. Let's do it.
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Cinemasochist Apocalypse!
"You, contact the ship! You, rock and roll! I'll go fight some villains and make their blood come out with this!"
-- Phoenix, addressing me and Izzy, dressed in his Iron Man costume wielding an Egyptian dagger bought on Halloween clearance
"1.) Step-Dad stole mummies from the KKK."
-- The first in a list of reasons why HKC's life is crazy
"Bukkake ahoy!"
-- Marlowe
I have some movies.
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| Wed May 06, 2009 1:10 pm |
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supersonic man
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:54 pm
Posts: 5458
Location: Lafayette, CA -- land of deer on the onramps
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Or vampires. No dang vampires! Ever!
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"an all-male Busby Berkeley show for heavily tattooed, deeply closeted Lower East Side testosterone addicts. The show's title? The Curb-Stompers of 1987." -- Santo
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| Wed May 06, 2009 1:11 pm |
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Hman
Burning Godzilla
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:01 pm
Posts: 3901
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
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What about golden vampires?
_________________
"I will teach you a kung fu punch, using your fists."
- 5 Pattern Dragon Claws
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| Wed May 06, 2009 1:14 pm |
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